


Best Case Scenario

by Tak138



Series: Commissions [5]
Category: Original Work
Genre: Alpha/Beta/Omega Dynamics, Angst and Feels, Bruises, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, F/M, Femdom, Fluff and Angst, Healthy Relationships, Hurt/Comfort, Implied/Referenced Abuse, Implied/Referenced Rape/Non-con, Male Friendship, Male-Female Friendship, Master/Slave, Modern Era, Past Rape/Non-con, Rape Aftermath
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-11-13
Updated: 2020-11-13
Packaged: 2021-03-10 00:34:46
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 5,977
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/27535354
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Tak138/pseuds/Tak138
Summary: Takes place immediately after Luck and ShameCommission for I'm-Chris
Series: Commissions [5]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1287251
Comments: 12
Kudos: 37





	Best Case Scenario

**Author's Note:**

> Thank you Patrick for editing.

When he woke, it was to a heavy, aching pain. For a long, blessed moment, Ezra wasn't quite sure what had happened, or why he was hurt. He knew from scent alone that he was across town, on the little pull out bed in Nicole's living room. Her scent was everywhere, the subtle musk of an Alpha, and the whispering, floral hints that separated her from everyone else. And the form along his side, legs tangled with his... that scent was sweet, dusky, and warm. Kai. 

It was only when Ezra opened his eyes, when the pain properly registered, when he realized he was in Nicole's clothes and not his own, did he remember. Something ugly and slippery slid down his spine, settling in a numbness beneath his skin. 

_Fuck._

Ezra rubbed at his eyes, swallowing the growing tightness in his throat, and immediately regretted it. He pressed a hand to his neck, wincing at what could only be a myriad of bruising. He needed some water, and maybe some more pain medicine. Fuck, actually, that latter piece was first in line. He wasn't unfamiliar with pain, this type of pain in particular, but it had been a long time. An impossibly, ridiculously long time. Because his mistress was so fucking nice, so god damn incredible, he'd almost forgotten how all encompassing it was. A deep seated burn, not just in his pelvis, but his hips, his thighs. His feet, his arms and shoulders and fingers. His knees, and his throat.

_This is what I get._

The thought came from the depths of his mind, along with the swell of tears to his eyes. Ezra bit his lip and crossed his arms over his face. 

_This is what I get. She told me to stay in, she told me to be good, and I was bad. I was bad._

_I'm bad._

His breath shuttered through him, wet and broken. He clenched his jaw hard, willing his mind to cease. Not now, please god, just give him a few more minutes. Hadn't he suffered enough? He was twenty fucking three, and already he'd been through so much god damn hell.

As soon as he had that thought, though, Ezra knew better. 

He hadn't deserved the things before. He'd been young, too young to make a mistake so grave, too young to deserve any of that. But this? 

This he deserved. 

Against his will, his mind drifted to Lisa. The lightness of her touch, the soft fondness of her hazel green eyes. She loved him. He knew it like he knew how to breathe. And he knew that he loved her in turn. 

And then he'd fucking gone and done this. Snuck out, deliberately disobeyed her order to stay inside. Some stupid, foolish part of him and just figured she'd been overprotective. That wasn't true of course, and he'd known that too. But he'd still done it. He'd still broken her trust, and likely her love too. She was a sweet and lovely woman, but she wasn't the kind to take shit. From anyone, least of all him. 

She deserved better, and he would be lucky if she kept him. He would be lucky to stay in this fucking state, actually. If she decided to hand him back over to the rescue, they would probably ship him back to their headquarters in Maine. About as far away from this place as you could get. 

_Don't cry. Don't you dare cry. You cause so much fucking trouble, hurt all these people that love you, and you think you get to cry? Shut the fuck up._

_This is what you get. This is what you deserve._

At his side, Kai shifted, rolling over. Ezra couldn't help himself, his heart going tight. He rested a hand on Kai's side, careful not to wake him, and just reminded himself that his friend was with him. They hadn't known each other too terribly long, and yet the thought of leaving Kai behind was enough to crush him. Sweet, innocent Kai. Too good for this place. Too good for anywhere, really. 

The best case scenario was that Lisa let him stay. The best case scenario was that she still saw something of worth in him, still saw him as something that deserved to be welcome in her home. Beyond that, he didn't dare hope for more. If he got to stay, if she still let him talk to Kai… he didn't let himself get that far. None of that was likely to happen. And it was his fault. 

It was all his fucking fault. 

He shifted, immediately wincing as pain spiked up his back. Still, he carefully withdrew from Kai's side and slipped from the bed. The carpet on his feet burned like melted glass—he vaguely remembered running here last night— but still he forced himself to rise. Forced himself to hobble around the bed, towards the bathroom. Something stopped him, though. He couldn't help but turn, peering down at Kai as he continued to sleep. His hair had lightened with the summer months, strewn across his face and plastered to his cheek with drool. He looked really fucking cute, so at ease in every single way he deserved. 

The first night Ezra had stayed over, they had shared a bed then too. Kai had mellowed out considerably, shortly before the incident with the cake, but in his sleep he'd reverted right back to that facility-reared creature. Stiff and still as a board, meek and broken and afraid of taking up too much space. Seeing him like this now, relaxed and sprawled out… it only made the burn in his throat worse. 

_I'm gonna miss you_ , he thought miserably, and hurried to the bathroom before the tears started again. Splashing his face with some cool water, Ezra did his best to wash away any of the tears from the night before. He caught sight of himself in the mirror, and quickly glanced away. Not now. He couldn't do this now. He would look later. Examine the damage later. 

Something churned in his stomach, bitter and acidic, and Ezra pressed his palms to the counter hard enough to turn his skin milky white. He tipped forward, resting his brow against the mirror. The cool glass was a welcome relief against the tightness of his skull. 

_Fucking hell_.

It was an effort to stay upright, his muscles sore and quivering. But he didn't want to go out just yet, didn't want to lie back down in their bed, in these clothes. Knowing his Mistress would come to collect him soon. He just wanted to sleep. Sink into the floor and sleep beneath the earth.

He was tired. So, so tired. All his life had been a fight. A fight to live, to breathe, to eat. Things had been so much easier these last few years. He'd forgotten what that emptiness felt that. What the bleak, hollow fear did when it sat just beneath the skin. He sucked in a deep breath, dragging his fingers through his hair. 

_Best case scenario, you get to stay. Worst case scenario, you get what you deserve_

It was the omega in him that longed for punishment, correction and guidance from his mistress, the person he trusted above all others. It was the rest of him that knew it was wrong to ask for so much. 

Idly, he plucked at his pants. He always forgot how fucking big Nicole was. So much taller than him that her pants were practically half pooled around his ankles. Kai probably felt itty bitty. 

He paused, smoothed a hand down the soft velvet of the pajama bottoms. Nicole was better than he'd ever given her credit for. Kai was lucky to have her.

Finally, he dried off his face and made his way out to the living room. Kai was still asleep, but the blankets had been pulled up over his shoulders, and Roe had stolen Ezra's pillow, her massive green eyes focused on him and her little tail flicking. Ezra's stomach swooped, muscles locking. He knew from experience that the cat usually went into Nicole's room at some point during the night, and usually only came out when she was awake. Which meant… 

His eyes scanned the kitchen, noting the full food dish on the floor, and then the rest of the apartment. It was only when Ezra noticed the blinds had been opened and the balcony door unlocked did he spy Nicole. She was seated at the little table out there, her phone held to her ear. She was still in her own pajamas, the ones he remembered from last night, her blond hair in a knot at the back of her head. She was staring off away from them, making it hard to read her face, but she had to be talking to Lisa. Fuck. _Fuck._

He tried to read her lips, in the vain hope that he could get a better grasp as to how bad things were, but that was hopeless. He had no idea what they were saying, or what they were talking about. No, actually, that wasn't right. He knew what they were talking about, and it had to be him.

He swallowed, shifting from foot to foot. Maybe he could just slide back into bed, hide beneath the covers, and pretend this was all just a really shitty dream. Maybe he could stay there forever, safe and warm. 

No. That was just stupid. This was real, and it was nearly time to pay the price. The least he could do was say thank you. 

He waited until Nicole put the phone down to make his way over, her eyes flicking to him immediately. She'd probably noted him the second he'd come back to the living room, damned alpha instincts. Always a third eye on their omegas, even if they were safely inside. The door slid open with a soft hiss, the warm breeze instantly kissing his face. Ezra let his eyes slip shut, let himself drink it in for just a second, before he stepped out and closed the door behind him. Nicole had straightened, her hands tight on the mug of coffee before her. For a second, neither of them spoke. For a second it was just the birds, and the rumble of the nearby highway. 

"How are you feeling?" Nicole asked at last. 

"Fine," Ezra rasped in reply. Shit, his throat felt obliterated. The next few days were absolutely going to suck, even more than they might have. Another long stretch of silence. All the while Nicole just kept staring at him. He could almost see the wheels turning, the mechanisms slowly working behind her eyes. He'd long since stopped seeing her as a predator; she was no longer a lioness on the hunt with him as her prey, more so just another passing creature trying to survive just the same. And yet there was still something… strange, about her, as there was about all alphas. A stillness, a tightness, a... focus. It made his hair stand on end.

At last, he managed, "Thank you. For last night, and—and I'm sorry."

That tightness eased, and Nicole offered him a small smile. "You've got nothing to be sorry for, Ezra. I'm glad we were able to help." A pause, a flick of her eyes inside. "Is Kai—"

"He's fine," Ezra swallowed, that shame in his belly growing. It was a perfectly reasonable question. She was making sure last night hadn't reawakened some of Kai's old wounds, something Ezra hadn't even considered until just that second. "He's fine," he said again, "He—he went into like, caretaker mode, or something. He's fine. I think." 

Nicole nodded, taking a sip of her coffee. "And you?" 

For some reason, the question caught him off guard. "I'm… fine," he said at length, "A bit sore."

She looked him up and down, her eyes honing in on his throat, his arms, and then his face. He could only imagine what she saw. Bruises, handprints, cuts and scrapes. Still, he didn't let himself look. Not yet. She opened her mouth to say something further, but then her phone buzzed. She flipped it over, reading the message on the screen. 

She hummed, unlocked the screen with her touch and sent out a message of her own. "Lisa just left, she's on her way."

His vision grew wet, a wave of absolute panic cresting over him. 

_Please,_ _please, please._

"Okay, thank you for telling me," he forced himself to say, and despised himself for the way his voice wobbled. 

He watched her nose twitch, watched those dark eyes focus back on him. Examining him. Fucking hell. He had to turn, had to hide his face in a hand. He never wanted her to see him like this. Kai was one thing, but Nicole? 

God, he was such a disaster.

"Ezra," said Nicole, her voice quiet and tentative. He couldn't help but look at her, flinching at the open pity on her face. And for one single second he _hated_ her for that pity. He wasn't _weak_ , or broken, or so pathetic that he needed some random ass fucking Alpha to coddle him. More tears rushed at him, a few escaping down his cheeks, and Ezra took a few steps away, trying to put some distance between them. But that was everything that made him bad, wasn't it? Thinking he was better than this, that he could ever possibly be more. If he just remembered his place—just fucking did as he was _told_. 

It was then that he noticed something had changed about her, something in her gaze, her scent. It made his knees wobble. He'd only witnessed it occur between her and Kai, and even then only a couple of times. It was a softening, an openness spreading across her demeanor. Gone was the cursed focus, the sharp eyes. In its place was just an Alpha, warm and safe. 

He hated the way his body responded to it, purely for the fact that it was out of his control. A response to pheromones or some bullshit. And yet he was helpless but to let her let rise and come near, helpless but to let her touch his shoulders, gentle, probing. And he couldn't have stopped himself, even if he tried, from melting against her as she folded him into her arms. Instinctually, he latched onto her, a pathetic creature haplessly searching for something to grasp. Nicole just held him tight, and smoothed her hand through his hair. 

"Easy," she whispered, "Easy. You're alright." 

Ezra bit his lip hard enough to taste blood, and buried his face in her shoulder. It was all he could do to keep his tears at bay—he refused to let himself fall _that_ far, not while she was fucking hugging him—but he tried not to feel too ashamed about the occasional whimper that broke through. 

Nicole just kept petting his hair, kept cooing and crooning. "You're okay. You're fine, no one's gonna hurt you." 

"I don't want to go," he choked, "I don't want to _go_."

She chuffed, pushing him back by the shoulders far enough that she could see his face. "Where, exactly, do you think you're going to go?"

It had been years since he had felt so small, so broken and lost. Years since he had felt this gutted. This… used. He just wanted to go home. He wanted his Mistress to tell him it was all okay, that she loved him, that he wasn't bad. He just wanted her to hold him, wanted her to kiss him, wanted her to look at him with love in her eyes, as she had so many times before. He was so fucking ashamed, it made his head spin. Ashamed of getting hurt, of showing up here, of weeping like a lost child into Nicole's shoulder when they weren't even that fucking close. He hadn't really liked her for a good few weeks there, and he hadn't exactly been discrete about it. And yet there she was, holding him as if she cared, as if he was precious and coveted. And there he was, clinging to her with every last scrap of strength. It proved every single omega stereotype out there, that they were all meek and lost at their core, and needed an owner to look after their every move. Though in that moment, honestly, Ezra couldn't really bring himself to care. This was what alphas were for, after all. What they were good at.

He was at sea, and he was drowning. If she was the thing keeping him afloat, if only for a few more seconds, he wouldn't let his pride get in the way.

"Away," he mumbled, turning his face into her neck, "She's gonna—she's gonna give me back to the rescue."

Nicole stiffened, her grip tightening. _"What?"_ She spat, with enough force that Ezra flinched away. 

"No—no, I'm sorry, you're okay, you're okay," she breathed, and he let himself be pulled back into the hug. Again with the petting, her fingers so light and soft, just at the nape of his neck. Ezra let his eyes fall shut, let himself sag against her. Quietly, Nicole said, "Lisa isn't getting rid of you, Ezra. I promise." 

"She probably hates me," he whispered, fresh tears welling, "I was so, so bad. She—she deserves better than me. She deserves—"

_Someone like Kai._

The thought came and went, leaving a bitter taste in his mouth. 

"She's not getting rid of you, she's not sending you away," Nicole said quietly, "She isn't. I told you that last night, didn't I?"

He couldn't remember. The whole night was such a blur. Even so, it was hard to believe. Impossible, really. That she would ever want to keep him after this. The shame and embarrassment he always seemed to cause.

"I love her," he swallowed, "I love her so much. I don't know why I'm so bad. I don't know why i'm like this."

"Ezra," she sighed, but then the door slid open behind them.

Kai popped his head out, voice sharp, "What's wrong? What happened?"

"Nothing, Sweetheart," Nicole replied gently, and her grip on him tightened just enough that it hurt his ribs, but Ezra couldn't be bothered to complain. "He just got a little caught up in himself. Will you start on breakfast, please?"

Though he wasn't looking, Ezra felt Kai hesitate. It was probably longer than he ever had after being given a command. Long enough in fact that Nicole had to say, "Kai?" before he finally excused himself back inside. 

Ezra let himself be held for a few seconds longer, before he forced himself to step back. Nicole let him go, but she was still looking at him with those weirdly soft eyes. 

"Why do you think Lisa wants to get rid of you?" She asked quietly. 

Ezra smoothed out the front of his shirt, wiping fervently at his face. "Because I'm trouble," he murmured, "I'm too much trouble for what I'm worth. She's going to send me back so I get someone that can handle me."

"Ezra," breathed Nicole, gently scolding, "You did something stupid, yes, but she's not about to get rid of you for this. You could probably set the house on fire and she would still keep you."

Still, Ezra shook his head. "She's too good for me," he whispered.

"Nonsense," Nicole admonished, "She loves you, and she wants you. That's all that matters."

Something about that made his chest warm, made his lungs feel a little less tight. Staring at his feet, he asked, "Does she still love me?" 

"Yes, Ezra, she still loves you. She said so herself."

"And… she's not going to get rid of me?"

Nicole let out a long breath, gently patting his cheek. "No, she isn't."

The tightness in his chest loosening somewhat, Ezra swallowed against the pain in his throat. Nicole had yet to lie to him, so he ought to take her words to heart. Still, he couldn't stop himself from saying quietly, "What if she does."

A moment of quiet, long, drawn out, until Nicole finally said, "Then I'll take you."

Ezra's head snapped up fast enough to give him whiplash. "What did you say?"

She snorted, "I said, if Lisa wants to give you away, I'll take you."

Ezra could only gape, "Why?"

All amusement faded from her face as she brushed some of her hair from her eyes. "After what you did for Kai? You always have a home here, Ezra."

"But—but—" he sputtered, "but that was months ago! I didn't even do anything."

"You helped my boy when I couldn't," she replied, as though it was the simplest thing in the word, "That's enough for me. So if you need a home, which you _won't_ , you have one with me and Kai."

This time, Ezra couldn't stop the sob that burst from him. He didn't deserve this. He didn't deserve these people, not after what he had done. He didn't deserve Kai and his adoration, Nicole and her comfort. And he especially didn't deserve his Mistress, and her endless love. 

They eventually parted, Nicole offering him a soft smile, and telling him to go join Kai in the kitchen. Ezra didn't bother putting up a fight, quietly turning and obeying her command. But as he closed the door behind him, he watched Nicole send another text. 

He had no idea what it said, no idea what it _could_ say. And yet, he knew it had to be to Lisa, and he knew it had to be about him. 

_You have a home,_ he reminded himself, and even his internal voice was mewling and pathetic. _You have a home. You're not going anywhere. Mistress loves you, she's going to keep you. You have a home._

_She loves you. She loves you._

  
  
  


Lisa arrived twenty minutes later, while they were all eating a hastily prepared meal of eggs. Nicole received the call, and Ezra was already trembling before she even lifted the phone to her ear. 

"Ez," Kai said, voice soft. 

"I'm fine," he whispered. 

Across the table, Nicole was watching him very carefully. "Yeah," she said to the phone, "213, I'll buzz you in." 

Under the table, Kai took his hand, squeezing tight. "You're fine," he echoed softly, "You're gonna be fine."

Ezra nodded, scrubbing at his face. "I'm fine."

Nicole hung up the phone, saying nothing. Ezra just stared at his plate, at the meager portion of eggs he hadn't been able to finish. The sharp buzz of the door intercom made him jerk in his seat, Kai gently thumbing his knuckles. 

"You're okay," he murmured, as Nicole left the table. "You're going to be okay, Ez. I promise." 

Ezra just closed his eyes, drinking in their small point of contact. His heart knocked against his ribs, a jackhammer threatening to break each and every bone. 

Then, there was a knock at the door. He forced himself to breathe as deeply as possible, ignoring every ache and jab of pain that followed.

_Just breathe. Just breathe, it's okay. It's going to be okay._

"You're okay," Kai repeated. 

Ezra felt himself nod, felt his lips form the words, "I'm okay." But it was as though his body was suddenly flung miles and miles away, because then Lisa was walking through the door. 

He took her in, as he always did, and at the sight of her tired, red rimmed eyes, his stomach dropped to the floor. He stopped paying attention after that. Somehow, he made it to the door. Lisa had brought him a pair of his houseshoes, and he slipped them on out of habit alone. 

"Thank you so much," he overheard his mistress say, "Really, Nicole, I can't thank you enough." 

"Nonsense," Nicole replied, with all the kindness he still never expected from her. "He's always welcome here, no matter the circumstances." 

Kai appeared in front of him, offering yet another hug. Ezra took it placidly, not absorbing whatever words of comfort he offered. His body may as well have belonged to someone else. It was as though he were watching over from far away, only vaguely aware of what his body was doing. 

It was strange. He hadn't dissociated quite so heavily in a good long while. That's what the counselors called it, at least. Shit. His time at the rescue felt even further away. 

Then there was a hand on his, leading him. The thud of his shoes on the stairs. The whisper of pain, a quiet burn. He didn't register the sunlight, or the wind. He didn't pay attention to the walk to the car, didn't acknowledge Lisa's constant worried glances. 

_She loves you, she wants you._

Ezra just let himself float, let his body flow on autopilot. Not yet. He couldn't think, not just yet. 

When he next came back to himself, it was at some point on the road. Lisa was silent, the radio was silent. It was so, so silent. 

Ezra grimaced as his pain came back in full force, rubbing at the tender skin of his throat. He did his best to block out what had happened the night before. It was just more of the same. More faces to see in the dark. There was too much trouble already at hand, he could at least try to get over one part of it. 

"Ezra?" Lisa asked quietly. 

He took a deep breath, trying to steady his fluttering heart. "Yes ma'am?" 

She adjusted her grip on the wheel, her scent, worried and anxious, filling the car.

_I did that,_ he thought, _I did this to her._

He felt her eyes on him, just for a second. "How are you feeling?" 

"I'm fine," he whispered.

"Are you in any pain?"

His nerves flickered, reminded him of each and every ache. "No ma'am," he said without thinking, and then winced. 

_Are you really going to lie to her? Now?_

"I mean… kind of," he tried, "It's not bad, just… a lot."

"Nicole said Kai told her you were really banged up," she hedged. 

"Yes ma'am," he whispered. The pit in his stomach was just growing deeper and deeper. 

Lisa swallowed, wet her lips. "I'm sorry." 

Ezra couldn't help the snort, ragged and wet. "What do you have to feel sorry for? It's not your fault."

_It's mine. It's all mine. I did this, I deserve this._

"Well… Nicole mentioned you thought I was going to send you away." 

Ezra closed his eyes, his hands curling into fists on his thighs. "I would understand if you did," was all he could say. 

"Ezra…" his mistress started, but then she fell silent. Somehow that was worse than anything else. He would have preferred screaming, even a smack, instead of the drowning, aching silence. 

"I'm sorry," he squeaked, and it was at that exact moment Ezra realized he had begun crying again. He rubbed desperately at his face, willing his tears to fucking stop. He didn't have any right to cry, not here. Not when she smelled so worried, no when she looked like she hadn't slept a wink. 

"Ezra, baby—" Lisa breathed, but his tears hadn't stopped. Ezra shoved his face into his hands, digging his nails into his skin. 

_Stop this shit. Are you so fucking worthless that you can't keep it together for five seconds?_

_You're so fucking worthless. You don't deserve her. You don't deserve Kai, or Nicole. You deserve pain and trouble, because that's all you bring, that's all you are._

_You're worthless._

_I'm worthless._

The sobs came in a fit of hacks and whines. He hunched over, desperate to make himself small, desperate to apologize, desperate to prove that he wasn't worthless. But he couldn't. He fucking couldn't, because he couldnt stop fucking crying.

His door opened, and Ezra flinched so hard he nearly flung himself into the next seat. 

Lisa grabbed him by the arms, her grip murderously tight. "Listen to me," she hissed, "I need you to listen to me very closely, Ezra." 

He looked around helplessly, his breath caught in his throat. When had they pulled over? When the fuck had that happened? How had he been so absorbed in his own pity party that he'd missed her getting out the fucking car?

_Worthless._

_Worthless._

Lisa jerked him, earning a frightened squeak. "Are you listening to me?" 

Desperately, he nodded. "Y-yes!" He sputtered, "Yes Mistress, I'm listening, I—"

Lisa let go of his wrists, the skin beneath pink and aggravated, and bought her hands to his face. 

"I. Love. You," she said slowly, aunnicating each word. "I _love_ you, Ezra. I'm not about to send you away for getting fucking hurt."

"But—but I was bad!" He protested, "I snuck out! You told me to stay in a-and I lied and said I would but then still snuck out!"

Lisa's eyes were wild, bewildered. _"Ezra,"_ she breathed, "Ezra, you were bad, yes. You disobeyed me, but that's just—that's just kind of what you _do._ "

Something about that made his insides curdle, made his blood turn to acid. Meekly, he said, "I'm sorry."

Lisa winced, wiping the tears from his cheeks. "No, that came out wrong. Just… you're not exactly the most docile, pamphlet-perfect omega. If I was going to get rid of you, I would have done it a long time ago."

"This is worse," he insisted, "This is the worst thing I've done. I knew it when I did it, but I-I thought it would be fine. I was bad on purpose, because I didn't think you would find out. I deserve—"

"You deserved a proper punishment," Lisa cut him off, "You deserved to have your ass grounded for an entire goddamn month. Not this, Ez. Never this."

Ezra made himself turn away, still fighting for control of his breathing. "I deserved it," he whispered, "And I deserve to be sent back."

"Bullshit," she scoffed, "You're mine, right?"

The tone of her voice sent a shiver down his spine. He squeezed his eyes shut, nodding weakly. 

"So who the hell do you think you are, trying to tell me what to do with you?" 

"I-I'm sorry…" 

"No, I want an answer," Lisa sniped, giving him a little shake, "Why do you think you get to decide what your punishment is?"

"I-I don't," he croaked, "I don't, I'm sorry."

"Clearly you do, since you insist that I need to get rid of you." 

The rising anger in her voice made him want to curl up and die. She so rarely got angry with him, it was so strange to hear such wrath in her voice. It terrified him.

"I'm sorry," he said again, urgently and panicked, "I don't, I don't know better, I'm sorry. You—you're right, it's your right, I'm yours, I'm sorry."

Lisa grabbed him by the chin, turning his face so their eyes met. Somehow, her expression wasn't… angry. And neither was her scent, nor that he thought about it. 

Her eyes were fond, tender and worried. So full of that love he would never fucking be worth. "So if I say you didn't deserve this, that you don't deserve to be sent away, why do you think you get to disagree with me?" 

For a second, Ezra was struck silent. That was… a good point. He wasn't the one that got to decide his punishments. He raised hell, like he always did, and Lisa brought him back down. That was her job, that was why he loved her with every piece of his heart. She let him go, and knew exactly when to put him back in his place. She knew exactly what was fair, knew exactly what he needed.

A few fresh tears welled, and fell from his eyes, but at least his sobs had halted. Lisa swallowed, pressing a gentle kiss to his cheek. 

"You're not going anywhere Ezra, I promise," she murmured against him. 

"Yes Mistress," he said weakly. 

She kissed him again, and this time Ezra let himself enjoy it, that brief point of contact. It meant that she, despite everything, somehow did not hate him.

Before she could withdraw, Ezra buried his face in her shoulder, drinking in as much of her scent as he possibly could. 

"I'm sorry," he whispered, "I'm really, really sorry."

Lisa only hummed, gently combing her fingers through his hair. "You smell like Nicole."

He couldn't help the laugh he gave, even if it was broken and pathetic. She held him for a moment, trailing her fingers down his back, careful of all the hidden bumps and bruises. 

When he finally leaned back, it was to wipe his face on his arm. "Fuck," he rasped, "I'm sorry, we can go now."

But Lisa didn't move. She just stayed crouched before him, gently taking his hand in hers. 

"You know that I love you, right?" She said. Ezra's heart skipped a beat, and he nodded quickly. 

"I know," he whispered. 

_I don't deserve you._

"Good," she said, with a smile bright enough to blot out the sun. She brushed his hair from his brow, and only chuckled when Ezra turned his face into her hand, seeking more of her affection. "When we get home, I want to see you," Lisa went on, just a touch of firmness to her voice. "I want to see everything, so I know what you need."

He swallowed, fear flickering in his stomach. He usually didn't mind it, when she wanted to see him naked. Any shame or modesty he'd had was stolen away when he was young, so he'd never actually cared if she looked. Now, though, it was hard not to feel anxious over it. 

"Yes ma'am," he replied quietly, "Whatever you like."

Lisa smiled again, and Ezra allowed it to soothe his nerves. "After that," she said, squeezing his hand, "You're going to let me look after you until you're better." 

He nodded quickly, licking his dry lips. "Do I… do you want me to… tell you? What happened, I mean." 

"You don't have to," Lisa responded, "Whenever you're ready, baby. I just want to make sure you're okay."

He took a deep breath, nodding again. "Yes ma'am," he whispered, "I'm… thank you. I don't know what else to say." 

Lisa rubbed his cheek, pursing her lips at the bruises there. "Let's get you home," she said, at last rising to her feet. 

"God, yes please," he sighed, "I feel like I could sleep for a century." 

Lisa shut his door, going around to the driver's side and climbing in. She didn't start the car just yet, though. She just kept looking at him, her eyes narrow. 

"You believe me, right?" She asked at last. 

Ezra blinked, clearing his throat. "About what?"

"That I won't get rid of you. That I still want you."

For a second, Ezra hesitated. "I… yes," he said finally, "In my head, I do, but I…. I don't know. It doesn't feel real, just yet." 

Lisa nodded a bit, rubbing his shoulder. "Well, I'll just have to prove it to you, then." 

Despite everything, despite all of the pain and shame, Ezra felt his cheeks flush. As if they were back at the very beginning, and he was still bewildered by all of her gentle flirting. 

"Thank you," he said earnestly, "I mean it. Thank you, for everything." 

Lisa only smiled at him, starting the car and easing them back onto the road. Ezra sunk back in his seat, finally able to breathe for the first time since everything happened. She would take care of him, with all the kindness and grace she insisted he deserved.

He should have known she would. She always had. 

  
  


**Author's Note:**

> Check out my [tumblr](https://tak138.tumblr.com/)


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